So a terrible thing happened the other day.
Travis, Will’s son was visiting.
That is not the terrible thing.
And we were watching Wheel of Fortune.
That is not the terrible thing, despite what you may think. Don’t judge.
And Pat Sajak (the host) had just returned to hosting duties. While he’d been out, Vanna White (the letter turner) had stepped in. Will and I knew this because since we’ve moved in together, we now watch Wheel of Fortune.
While that may sound like the terrible thing that happened/continues to happen, no. Not the point of the story.
The terrible thing began when Will turned to Travis and said, “You know, Vanna was really nervous when she was hosting for Pat.”
And Travis looked at him…
Will continued, “But I was really proud of her.”
And I looked at Will, as it slowly began to dawn on me what was happening.
Will continued, “I even wrote about it on Facebook.”
And before Travis could say, “Who are you talking about? Is this a new friend of yours?”, I screamed, “STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!”
Because you see, this conversation was proving to be a terrible thing.
It was the conversation that proves the bony finger of old age is pointing at you.
Beckoning you.
Promising you warm cardigan sweaters and overheated houses.
Because something happens at a certain age. We become name droppers, referring to people on television in casual conversations as though they are our friends. And the younger person you’re speaking to innocently goes along with it, because they think you are, indeed, chatting about a friend…and they’re waiting for you to bring the conversation around to explaining who these people are…so at first they smile patiently…and then they begin to look a bit confused…and then a look of horror crosses their face as they realize that you are not talking about people you know. You are talking about people on television that you have never met and will never meet. And you’re standing there yammering on about them as if they are your long-lost best friend coming over for Thanksgiving.
I think this moment is the when many children first realize that their parent/s are dipping their toes in the water of senility. And right then and there that child vows that when they reach that age, they will NEVER do that.
But they’re lying to themselves. You and I both know it. We watched our parents do it. And they likely watched their parents do it.
In retrospect, I guess there were actually two terrible things I learned that day: (a) we are not immune to repeating the things we see those who go before us do, despite our fervent vows to the contrary, and (b) Will and I really need to up our TV viewing habits.
Until next time…cheers!
